


Cherry Blossoms

by metaphoricalpluto



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Crying, Drunk Driving, Flowers, Grief/Mourning, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Depression, am i though, breif description of car accident, i guess?, im sorry, stay safe yall, yes this has angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metaphoricalpluto/pseuds/metaphoricalpluto
Summary: Cherry Blossom - represents the fragility and the beauty of life, a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short





	Cherry Blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> So Uhh, I have nothing to explain myself with for this one. It kinda just came. I'm sorry ^-^" This is probably gonna hurt but I mean I guess it kinda has a happy ending? I quite like how it turned out anyways and I hoe you guys like it too :) I got the idea when in costa and listening to this peice of music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyfYuWNBEbY)

_Cherry Blossom - represents the fragility and the beauty of life, a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short_

 

The cherry blossoms were always Patton’s favourite flower. He adored their pinks and the way the floor would disappear whenever the season changed and the time came for the trees to shed the flowers they bore. He would say he’d always loved them all the same, but his love for them had changed into different types time and again over the years.

\---------------

Since he was young, he had always loved to stand under the blossom trees as the wind blew through the flowers and pushed them off the trees onto the already slightly covered ground. He never really had many friends as a child, having been picked on by others for being so cheery, happy and friendly, and just the way he looked generally – with his glasses and freckles.

So, he spent a lot of his spare time in this pathway he and his parents always used to walk through when they went out on walks around the town. It was just an ordinary pathway, brick tiled floor which looked to have been taken care of well, however; all the way along – lining both sides of the path - were many trees, cherry blossom trees. He always was amazed by the way the petals danced in the wind as they fell. The whole place was aglow with light and peacefulness, Patton always thought it held some kind of magical creatures in the trees with the way everything was so bright and lively and just- well, magical!

Whenever he felt sad, or needed an escape/ time alone, he always went there and sat under the trees. Sometimes it was for a few minutes or half an hour, sometimes it was a whole afternoon. If he needed time to himself; that was the place he went. It was almost a comfort ground or safe place for him. That pathway and the trees really were a special place in his childhood and he held them in a very close place in his heart.

He never wanted to leave that town and that path, he loved it too much and never wanted to go away from it. However, something had come up and his father had to move to a different city to be able to keep on working, and he sure as heck wasn’t going to leave Patton and his mother behind. So they all moved with him.

Unfortunately, when Patton had moved house, he’d moved away from the walk way which had held the trees, now being much closer to the city. Patton was sad to have left the trees and for there to be none where he moved to, but that never meant he stopped loving the flowers. Sure he missed them a lot, but he still held a great love for them.

\---------------

Years passed and sure, he may have seen the odd cherry blossom tree around and about as time went on, but they were nothing compared to the ones on the path. He missed those trees dearly, so once he was finally able to afford to go back there at 20 years old, he took his chance and went.

Walking around the town where he grew up brought back so many memories. Sure some things had changed and were different, but it was still the place he grew up in and loved despite the changes. Although seeing the town was nice, that wasn’t his main motivation for going back. For it was rather the trees he came to see.

When he eventually did make it to the path with the trees, it was as if nothing had changed. The trees were still beautiful as ever. In full bloom, it was an array of pinks and whites. It was still truly a magical place, even then. However, one thing did catch his attention – or well a person did.

He was standing in the middle of the path about half way down, looking up at the trees, petals falling all around him. Patton wasn’t sure if he was dreaming honestly. There stood the most beautiful man he had ever seen, the reds of his jacket blending in beautifully with the colours of the flowers around him, making him look simply stunning. The man, noticing Patton standing there and staring, turned to him and smiled, walking up to the other. Patton was sure he’d keel over with how hot this guys was. The man introduced himself as Roman Prince, and Patton did the same. Roman said something about how the cherry blossom petals were nothing compared to Patton’s beauty, and the shorter man could feel his face heating up, turning a bright red – almost as red as Roman’s jacket.

The two exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet up again – for a date. After that date they realised they really did like each other and decided to start dating. And then a few months into their relationship, they shared their first kiss underneath those same trees that they had met under. Patton had never felt happier than he did then, he’d found his partner. His childhood love for the flowers changed into a more intense love, for his and Roman’s love had happened because of them, so he held them in a place very close to his heart.

\---------------

Years went by and their dating soon turned to being engaged and then in turn married. The two were a very happy couple and had a wonderful married life with each other, never forgetting the cherry blossoms which started it all and brought them together. Every year, for their anniversary, they went back to the path and stood under the trees, under the cherry blossoms. There hadn’t been a year gone by since then that Patton hadn’t gone with Roman to that magical place. That was until 5 years after their marriage.

5 years after their wedding, 8 years since they had first met, the day before their anniversary; was when the crash happened. Roman had been driving home from work that night, making sure to drive carefully, when seemingly out of nowhere his car was rammed into by another car – the other driver drunk and not fully aware of his surroundings at all. His car had flipped and the engine exploded, Roman wasn’t able to make it out alive.

Patton received the news that same evening. Worried as Roman wasn’t one to get home late – he had stayed up. Waiting. Waiting for someone who was never going to come.

His friends; Logan and Virgil, were there when he got the news, the two deciding to go and visit Patton and Roman as it was a big day the next day – their 5th wedding anniversary. They were there when a man with a solemn came to the door, asking to come in and asking for Patton, he had important news he needed to tell him. They were there when the man told Patton what had happened, told him that Roman had died in a car accident due to a drunk driver, and then Patton in a numb voice after minutes of silence thanked the man for telling him. They were there when Patton closed the door after the man had left and apologised for his loss, Patton had then broken down in sobs on the floor, tears never seeming to find an end. The two comforted Patton all they could and tried to do all they were able to to make him feel better, but they knew it wouldn’t be the same as it would have been if Roman were there.

Logan and Virgil decided to stay the night round Patton and Roman’s- no, Patton’s house, making sure they were there for him and reminding him that they were there for him if he needed them. Patton fell asleep with red eyes and feeling too numb to cry any more.

The next day he didn’t even feel like getting up anymore, too tired to even try. But he had to go. It was their anniversary after all, he had to go, for roman. Even if roman wasn’t even there anymore.

After getting up and getting ready to go – Logan and Virgil sharing worried glances as their friend was almost like he had an emotionless mask on; his smiles were weak and they could see the pain in his eyes, but they didn’t want to say or do anything that might upset him – Patton made his way out to his car, thoughts of roman swirling and filling his head. Logan suggested it was unwise for him to drive in the state he was in, and then took over that duty, Virgil sat in the back holding Patton’s hand, saying that he didn’t have to go, but Patton firmly saying he would, for Roman.

The drive to his old home town was silent, it felt like it was taking forever but it also felt like it was over far too quickly. Patton hadn’t said anything on the way – which was rather out of character for him, but then again it was understandable. As they drove through the streets Patton had once played among, all the thoughts he had in his head were centred around Roman.

He thought about the day they had first met, their first date, the day roman had proposed in that stunning red letterman jacket he had, and then their wedding.

All of the happy memories he had with Roman were brought back, but he also remembered their first fight. It had been over something simple, Roman had come home late to a special dinner. Patton was mad as they had planned that night for weeks. Roman had then gone to spend the night at a friend’s house after they had fought, so that he could cool off some steam and calm down, and then in the morning when he returned, he presented Patton with a beautiful bunch of flowers. They were cherry blossoms.

The flower which was present throughout their lives and had brought them together. Patton’s favourite flower.

All throughout the journey memories played in his head, refusing to let him believe there was any chance that Roman could be gone. I mean, how could he be? Just yesterday morning he’d been there, giving Patton a kiss goodbye as they exchanged ‘I love you’s before he left for work. Neither knowing that would the last kiss they shared.

All too soon they arrived in the car park close to where the path was. The same car park they parked in every year. Logan and Virgil had assured him once again that he didn’t have to go, but he just got out of the car and told them to wait there, and that he would go alone – they didn’t need to come with him.

Walking towards the path, the sun shining brightly in the way too bright blue sky, Patton felt… nothing. He didn’t know what to feel. Once the entrance to said path came into sight, he started to feel a bit of hope? He wasn’t sure, but it would probably be classed as hope. Hope that maybe Roman wasn’t gone, that he’d be there waiting for him under those trees like the first time they met, alive and okay, waiting for Patton with his arms open. He should have known better.

His pace sped up as he speed-walked, almost running, to the entrance. He could see the trees, the pinks, the whites, the flowers. He rounded the corner, at this point almost sprinting because maybe Roman would be there, maybe he was waiting for Patton. But alas, he could only hope.

The path was empty. No one walking through. No one looking at the blossoms as they fell. And no Roman. He walked slowly through the corridor of trees, energy completely gone. He walked until he made it to half way down, the same spot he and Roman first met in.

For the first time in 8 years, he stood there alone. No roman there with him. It was then that it really did start to hit him. Roman was never going to come back, he was gone and gone forever. No more early morning cuddles, no more fancy home cooked dinners had together, no more movie nights where they fell asleep on the couch holding each other close, no more hellos and goodbyes.

Tears started to fall, slow at first as he looked at the blend of shades of pink of the petals as they fell around him. He then picked up one of the flowers and it was as if a damn broke inside him and the tears just wouldn’t stop. Harsh sobs shaking through him as he clutched the flower.

He sank to his knees, hugging himself tightly as he cried into the ground, glasses having fallen off his face. No matter how many times he wiped at his eyes the tears just kept coming. Roman was gone and was never going to return. He sat there and cried, cried until his eyes hurt and he had no more tears left to shed.

He looked solemnly up at the tree branches hanging above him, it was too nice of a day. The sky too blue and the sun too bright. Almost as if the world was just moving on, not acknowledging Roman’s death, even though it pained Patton greatly.

He stayed there for a good couple of hours, watching petals fall around him in solitude. But he knew he had to go home at some point and leave that place. When he got back to the car, Logan and Virgil asked if he was okay, even though they knew he most likely wasn’t. He probably looked like an absolute mess but he didn’t care, he just wanted to go home. So they did just that, both friends spending the night comforting Patton once again.

\---------------

Roman’s funeral was one month later. It was held in a church near where Patton was living. It was nice, many of both Patton and Roman’s family and friends came, offering Patton their condolences and apologies for Romans death, even though they hadn’t caused it. The man who did do it had been arrested within days of the accident thankfully. Of course Logan and Virgil were there with him the whole time, supporting him throughout it.

Patton somehow managed to make it through the service without crying, only because he knew the other people there didn’t know Roman the way he did. Sure they may have known him, but they didn’t _know_ him.

The reception after the funeral wasn’t really much, just people telling stories from when they knew Roman, sharing experiences over nice food and overly expensive drink. Patton stayed for a while, for formalities sake, but eventually his 2 friends could see that he wanted to leave and managed to help him sneak away.

The moment he managed to get away he made for his car and drove. Drove back to that place. The place which held all the memories of _him_ , all the special moments. He spent a good hour there crying to himself again, missing his other half dearly.

His love for the cherry blossoms had grown from childhood to a special love that he shared with roman, a deep love - which had now faded into a melancholic love. The sight of the flowers made him sad because of all the memories of _him_ that were tied to them.

When once it brought immense joy, all it brought now was sadness, loneliness and heartbreak.

\---------------

On the 1 year anniversary of Roman’s death, and what would have been their 6th wedding anniversary, Patton went to visit Roman.

On the anniversary of his death he went to visit his grave, which was in the church they had held the funeral in. He left a bunch of cherry blossom twigs on the grave, crying as a gust of wind blew, making some of the petals fall.

On the day of what would have been their anniversary he went to visit the path with the trees. He found it hard to not cry when he went there. The memories and feelings too strong for him.

Since Roman’s death Patton hadn’t been the same. He’d been more subdued and the liveliness once held in his eyes had nullified. His friends had tried what they could to help, but he just wasn’t the same. But with time, they knew he’d get better.

The blossoms still held a strong sadness for Patton.

\---------------

_4 years later…_

It was 5 years since Roman had left the world, and what would have been their 10th wedding anniversary. Patton did the usual of visiting Roman’s grave, leaving a bunch of cherry blossom sticks on it on his death date. He didn’t really like the graveyard much, it was too sombre and didn’t have enough colour. Roman would not have been pleased, so that’s why Patton always brought bright flowers, to lighten up his headstone a bit.

Then, the next day, he headed out to the path of trees again. By then the people of the area knew who Patton was and always smiled at him, and Patton always made an effort to try and smile back.

Over the years, it had been hard. Back when Roman had first died he’d fallen into a rather bad bout of depression. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. Roman was his light – his completing half. It had worried his friends and they tried to get him all the help he could get, but they all knew it was only a case of time, no one can rush grieving.

But, as the years passed, they could all tell he was getting better. As time went, Patton began to smile more often – more genuinely, he didn’t seem so down all the time. He started to go back to his old self. They knew he would never be exactly the same again, but he was on the road to recovery. Slowly, but surely.

When he arrived in the car park, he took a few minutes to ready himself before stepping out the car and walking to the path. He paused before starting to walk down it, making his way to the middle as he always did.

He was silent as he looked up at the trees in full bloom, his red and grey striped scarf blowing in the gentle breeze, it was colder than usual so he had worn an old brown-ish grey trench coat and that scarf along with matching brown boots. The scarf used to belong to Roman, they’d bought matching ones for the anniversary of their 2nd year of dating. He sighed, taking a breath and readying himself.

Something Patton found he did each year, even if briefly so, was talking to Roman. He figured that if he was going to be anywhere in spirit, it would be there. So he took a breath and started to speak.

“Hey Roman, dear,” he began. “It’s been another year you’ve been gone for huh, so that makes it to 5 years now I guess. 5 years you’ve been gone… And oh how I miss you.”

He paused.

“I think I’m starting to get better, Roman. Sure it still hurts like hell, I don’t know if it will ever not hurt, but I’m able to smile now. Smile about our memories, the memories of you, and not cry.

Did you know it would have been our 10th wedding anniversary today? … You probably did, you never forgot dates like those…

Do you remember the day we first met? I was standing over there next to the tree with the weird roots that looked like hands, and you were standing looking at the one where we carved our initials into, the one you tried climbing and fell out of.

You looked like an angel with all those petals around you. Remember how you turned to me and said how the cherry blossoms may have been pretty, but it was nothing compared to the way I glowed? I smiled all night after that… I still remember it word for word as well…

Then we had our first date, it was in that place where they served that amazing pasta – you even tried making it once. Admittedly you burnt the pan and the pasta was basically cinders, but it was so much fun.

Do you remember the first time we kissed? It was over in that spot next to the tree we used to call ‘old Michael’s tree’ because of how he always went and watered it? You lifted me high up into the air and spun me around so much we both got dizzy and had to sit down for a good while after. We got ice creams later that day and you let me share yours…

Remember that time I baked you those crown shaped cookies and you told me with the biggest smile that I should start up my own bakery? I tried to teach you how to bake them but somehow you set them on fire. I still don’t know how you managed that.

Then you proposed to me in this same spot. You were wearing that red and white jacket you had when we first met and it always did make you look as stunning as ever. You were also wearing this scarf, and I had my matching blue and grey striped one on too. I cried and said yes and then you cried and hugged me tightly. You had petals stuck in your hair.

We got married a year later, in a church not far from here, and we both came back to here after the ceremony. We had our wedding photos taken here, they’re still up on the mantel piece, the one of you and me kissing with the petals falling around us is still in the centre. Your pastel pink suit really did look gorgeous with the trees and flowers around us.

Do you remember our first fight? It broke my heart and still hurts to think about it, but we became stronger because of it.

Remember when we met Logan and Virgil? They were in that library we used to go to, they’d gotten into an argument and me being me, I went over to resolve it because conflict is never good. We all went out for coffee and became good friends from then on. We had movie nights, went bowling and were all just close friends.

You might be wondering why I’m bringing all of this back up. Well, each of these memories used to hurt when I thought about them when you first died. It’s taken a while, years in fact, but I feel like now I can finally look back on those moments and smile. Because it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I’ve accepted that I can’t bring you back, and that you’re going to be gone forever. But you’ll always be with me in my heart, and I should cherish those memories we shared, rather than look back with sorrow. If I keep on living in the past and don’t move on, it’ll just hurt more.

So I’ve decided I’m ready to move on and accept it, to get better. It may still take me a while, I never said this would be a quick thing by a long shot, but I’ll get there, for you. I’m getting better, and that’s what matters. I’ll still miss you, because I will always love you Roman Prince, but I can learn to live with that.

I can get through this because I know that you’ll always be with me. And that gives me more strength and courage than anything else could.

I’ve talked on for a while now, but know I’ll always love you.

From, your ever loving and always missing you husband, Patton Prince.”

Patton sighed as he finished. Part way through he had started crying, but he smiled throughout. And in the first time in years, he looked up at the trees and smiled, knowing Roman was there, somewhere, listening.

A gust of wind blew through him, ruffling his hair, making the trees sway and the flowers fall. Patton caught one in his hands and he would always say that in that moment he knew Roman’s spirit was thanking him, hugging him from behind, he could almost feel it.

Patton held the flower close to his heart and took another long look at the path before turning and walking back to his car, twirling the flower delicately between his fingers.

When he reached the end, he turned back and he could have sworn he saw Roman standing where they first met, smiling at him, mouthing the words which Patton knew off by heart, before another gust of wind made Patton blink, and he was gone.

He smiled, tears forming again, but from happiness this time. He replied with the reply he knew almost as well as he knew his own heartbeat, and then turned back and went to his car. Later that day when he would get home, he’d place that flower next to their wedding photo and it would remind him that he wasn’t truly alone. He was getting better, it would take time, but he’d get there.

On the journey home, the two phrases the two had just shared were repeating in his head. It was something they always said to each other every day before Roman left in the mornings, and before they went to sleep. The last words they shared with each other.

_“I love you, my sunflower.”_

_“I love you too, my cherry blossom.”_

And Patton’s love for the cherry blossom flowers returned, a love which brought sentimental happiness every time he looked at them. It was a love he had deep in his soul, and nothing would dare change that again.

Patton really did love the cherry blossoms.

**Author's Note:**

> You've made it this far! Thank you! And feel free to scream at me if you want to :) I definately deserve a bit of it after this fic :D


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